I smiled. " No you look better from there".Some times we lie to the ones we love, because we afraid to tell people for our feelings for them. When you love someones, let them know.... You never know what will happen to next minute. Learn to build a life together.....
Learn to love each other. For who they are...not what they are.
This is so apt because in this materialistic world, everyone seems so consumed about looks and the things that are not of importance. Regrets is a feeling that we carry with ourselves to our graves. It is an intense and immensely painful feeling especially if it's a regret about something which we did not do or say to our loved one......
Sometimes we don't try to understand the truth, after leading a pleasure year together with your love, the best hour of your life, but she doesn't exist in your life today.
There was no one else on the road with holding your hand. The moments was closer than ever.....
Life And Happiness with her...
She looked beautifull in everything. The sea was now visible to me. I could see the waves rush to the shore and my heart was filled with bliss. Her hair blowing in the wind around her neck and flew in the air with her hair. Her smile had grown a little longer and was as beautiful as ever too. Whenever I looked into her beautiful eyes, outlined by kajal. They were happy eyes, sentimental eyes. When I took booth her hands in mine and brought her closer, and she submitted herself to my arms. No one spoke, only the waves lent their music. I looked at the sky there was not a cloud, the waves were almost kissing our feet. Everything was perfect, pure bliss. I could feel her breathing against my chest. If only we could stay there forever without speaking a word, our souls completely lost in each other. Suddenly I felt something wet on my neck. I released her a little and saw her eyes. A lone tear had trickled down her cheek. I brought my lips close to her cheek and kissed away the tear. The wind had gained momentum and the waves were threatening to submerge our feet. I looked into her eyes, eyes said so much. She closed them as I brought my lips close to hers and touched them. The wind, the waves had all ceased to exist.....
This is the last day 4th March this year before she left me for forever....,,,????
Without Her.....
She died. I survived...
Because I survived, I Died everyday. I was bound by my stars to live alonely life. Without her, I felt so alone. Though the fact is that it`s just she who is gone and everything else is the same. But this '' everything else'' is nothing to me......
I miss her in my days. I miss her in my nights. I miss her every moment of my life.
And I'll tell you what this loneliness feels like, what feels like to live a life without the person you loved more than anything or anyone else in the world.
Recalling something about her, you happen to laugh and in no time, sometimes even as you laugh, you taste your own tears. The more you want to avoid her around you, the more you will find it. It will torture you. You see couples kissing and hugging each other, resting their heads on each other. You will see her everywhere, you'll want to spend a few hours in darkness. You feel pain, your heart will bleed. And very calmly, you will walk on pretending you didn't see anything. You will search for and consume anything that can erase your memory. And believe me, your life will appear worse than death. Every thing that brought a smile to my face had now started torturing me, when I feel the touch of her my mind bring me back those old memories. I remember how she use to tell me that, after our marriage. But I never knew I would be writing this......
At times, I felt like a drug addict who badly needs his next hit. But at least an addict has his drug... I felt suffocated, as if something was stopping my breath, as if something was choking my soul. If ever I feel asleep, I would wake to nightmares, screaming. The time was always with her....
The Present.........
Here I am, feeling so alone even in the most crowded of places. And without my better half, this reamaining half is getting worse day by day. So much pain, so much grief.... Even the tears have dried up.
But still, I have to sustain myself, I have to live I have to laugh......
And therefore, today in my office when there is nobody near to me, I open her picture from my wallet and kiss her after so long time and say, "Congratulation" you remember 29th August, when I fisrt talk to you, 3 days of fighting and 362 days of love Not that bad haan????
And I run to the wash Room to wash away my tears. I don`t want to cry today, and try to imagine the face of My love "MARITA".......
Things around me have returned to what they were some one year ago, Before 'MARITA' come into my life. The romantic movie have been replaced by action movies, I am sleeping on time, as there are no late night calls now. Something don't changed yet, I don't want to change it because I still feel committed to her.
With her, everything else has gone, my dreams, my happiness, my good looking future and a lot more. It's been almost a six month I've laughed. But I have learn to wear a fake smile.It's very difficult. I don't talk much, when I am with friends, I want to be alone, When I am alone, I need company. Nothing comforts. With the arrival of night and the passing of each day, I realize that another of my lonely life has gone. So, I am now little closer to the world where she has gone.....
Love Just happens ones, Rest is only Life.....................
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take care friend
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