I'II ALWAYS BE WITH YOU.....the last word
This is to any one. I'm writing because I need someone to talk to, someone to open myself to. I need to be held.
Yes me......
Even me I am not made of brick. Although I'm strong, even strong things break down at times. Whoever reads, I don't want sympathy or talk, I just someone to listen.
I sit, and hold her hands, tears are falling from my face, I'm so scared. I feel so alone, so lost, confused sad.....I realize I'm not going to have all the things I love forever.
I've never felt this way. I look the face in my mind. What's going to happen???
Will I see this face for last time ... forever ??
I doubt it, even though our love for each other may stay, eventually we'll separate. The same with her ....
I dread the thought of losing somebody so close, God..... I'm so scared, so afraid.
Lastly, God please, I don't want to leave her I am so afraid of leaving because I love her .....
My Mother is going to die soon.... I can't see living without..... God ... Help
"MAA"(my mother) ......I promise you
Ok, Cricket, I'll never go for play that, I love the game but promise you, I'll never play again.
"MAA".....
Ok I wake up early for school ....
Ok, I 'll never drink water from out side promise you....
Ok, I 'll never go out side in afternoon....
Ok, I'll never dirty my clothes.....
Ok, I' ll never fight with Monty(my brother)....
I'm not even going to have that forever .... I mean, sure you never know.... but the only things that makes me happy and I can talk to might not be here either. And also talking to her about problems of hers.
God this sucks so bad... I love her so much pls don't do this with me.
"Suddenly my world stop there, a last sound comes on that day,(20th Sept 1997 )"
I'LL, ALWAYS BE WITH YOU, well I'm going. Wherever I may go in the future I'll love you.
And I left that hand on that day but she never never left my hand.......
I'm ashmed to say that I took you for granted When you are with me. Many times , in return for your love and affection, I paid you back with anger and ungreatfull behavior. Mother, I was blind to your special qualities. worse yet, I was stubborn, uncpromising, selfish and tactless while you were tolerant, understanding, comprassionate, unselfish and forgiving. It took this separation to put this things into perspective. I now realize just how you really mean to me. I only hope and pray that you will accept my deepest regrets at my past thoughtlessness. I often dream with you. Even though it is so far away, my memories of it are vivid and heartwarming, and you, "MAA" are always present. I feel very lucky to have been raised by a mother like you, for with patience and understanding, you natured me. You sacrifice much on my behalf . You forgive me for my indiscretions. You tolerated my shortcomings. Most importantly, you taught me my values, you molded my carcter and you showed me the true meaning of love. With such a solid foundation, I confident that will be able to face and overcome all of life's trials and tribulations. For this I 'm eternally gratefull.
"MAA", you left me so many days ago yet I miss you very much. I didn't realize how much you really meant to me. I thought going away would be easy. It is proving veru difficult. Hopefully, with God's help, I will overcome my insecurities. Even so, I will always cherish the memories of my life with you. and never will I loose the deep and sinsere love I have for you.
NOTHING COMPARES WITH THIS LOVE & TOUCH
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